Do You Have Permission To Lead?

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Think about the people in the world that you would do anything for. Your parents? Children? Best friends?

What do they all have in common? You will go above and beyond for them, not because you are obliged to, but because you want to.

Most of us find that concept pretty easy to understand. If we like people, care about them, and it’s reciprocated, we find it pretty easy to find a little more effort in what we’re willing to do for them - effort we wouldn’t put in for just anybody.

But some reason, not many leaders take that same understanding to how they lead.

Relationships, Relationships, Relationships.

We understand that in our personal lives, we do the most for the people we have the closest relationships with. Leadership is no different. It’s a game of relationships.

Would you do more for a leader you like, or one you despise?

A leader you trust, or one you can’t?

A leader who’s taken the time to get to know you, your life outside work, what makes you tick, what’s important and who is important to you.

Or the one who hasn’t?

Presented like this, it almost seems like a no-brainer doesn’t it? Leaders need to have a relationship with the people they wish to have follow.

Why Do I Need Permission To Lead?

We don’t follow leaders because we are obliged to. We may be compliant, sure, but that’s likely more because of the consequences of defying a “leaders” position, than genuinely wanting to follow their lead. Being compliant also doesn’t promise any discretionary effort.

Discretionary effort can be described as the level of effort, above the minimum required level, that people could give if they wanted to.

So, if you are content with your people giving you the bare-minimum; you don’t need to read on.

Getting permission to lead others is so important because in order to lead, and have others follow, they need to buy-in to you. Before they buy-in to you, you have to buy-in to them.

Buying-In To Your People

Most leaders who haven’t earned the permission to lead, struggle to get people to follow them with much enthusiasm. As a result, they focus on preserving their position, title, and control as a means to influence behaviours - because that’s all they have. “Put in more effort because I say so and you have to listen to me!”.

Unknowingly, pushing their people further away, and the relationship further from where it is they need to go.

To build influence, to first earn the permission to lead others. Your concern should instead be getting to know your people, figuring out how to get along with them, and most importantly - finding out who they are as people.

At the same time, your people learn about you too, building a solid and lasting relationship from the ground up. A firm foundation for great work to be done together.

I often hear horror stories of teams turning on, or abandoning, their leaders when times get tough. People don’t leave the ones they care about behind. Start with building a relationship - be a person people want to follow, good times or bad.

Getting Permission

How do you go about earning the permission to lead others? Here’s where you can start.

1. Get to know yourself first, then get to know others

Learn about yourself. What is important to you? What makes you tick? But also, do you get along with yourself? Do you even like yourself?

Be honest with yourself, take responsibility to affect change, and start to build a healthy and strong relationship with yourself before you turn your attention to others. How comfortable you are within yourself will make a difference in how comfortably you can be with others.

2. Listen, Learn, then Lead

Adopt an “others first” approach to leadership and management. Instead of a “This is me, and this is why you should follow me” approach, try a “Who are they, and why should they follow me?” approach.

Use the Listen, Learn then Lead framework. Listen your people, learn about them, and then use what you’ve learned to lead your people effectively.

3. Be Their Biggest Cheerleader

We talked about how in order to get buy-in from your people you need to buy-in to them. Being a cheerleader and chief encourager is one of the ways we demonstrate “buy-in”.

Be in their corner, root for them and their success, and become a main driver of their success - cheering them on from the sides. Encouraging words go a long way in convincing others that you value them and care about their success.

There’s More To Leadership Than Just Relationships

Remember that you must touch your people’s heart before you can ask for their hand, but it doesn’t stop there.

There is much more to leadership than just relationships. After you’ve earned the right to lead your people, you have to lead them somewhere. Growing closer to your people is a means to growing further together - but that’s a topic for another time.

In the meantime, go on! Go, earn the right to lead your people, touch hearts and reap the rewards.

Have a great week ahead!

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

Explore My Relationship Accelerator program for leaders:

→ If you’re still struggling to unlock the potential of your people and would like to make some meaningful change - our relationship accelerator program helps your leaders learn all they need to know about building effective relationships to drive success - in one day. Check it out here.

Or reach out at [email protected]