The Secret To Engaging Your People Effectively

Reading time: 3-4 minutes

Most managers make a fundamental mistake when it comes to leading others:

They lead how they would like to be led.

• You could like hands-on managers, who offer constant guidance and feedback. So that’s how you lead your team.

• You might not feel like you need a manager who you’re close to. So you lead that way - you give them space and don’t feel like your team needs you to be close to them.

• You may not like giving and receiving feedback. So that’s not something you opt into doing as a manager either

I’m sure you can start to see where the problem may lie. People don’t like the same things as you do.

And so, they won’t like to be led the same way that you do - and nor should they.

The Secret To Engaging People Effectively

Lead people how they want to be led.

Not how you were led, how you were taught to lead, or how you like to be led.

We are all unique individuals. How we learn, care about, think, get motivated, build relationships, are different (and the list goes on). So would it be palpable that each individual needs to be, and would benefit from, being led in their own unique way.

I know what you may be thinking. How am I supposed to tailor my approach to each individual? It’ll takes too much time and effort, and will be too overwhelming!

Perhaps. But even if it was (hint: it isn’t), I’m here to convince you that it would still be well worth the trouble.

Stop Wasting Your Time

You might be intimidated or even irritated by the amount of effort you’d have to put in to leading everyone in their own unique, ideal, way. I get it. It’s something to consider for sure.

But I always find it funny how quick we are to consider the potential cost we’d have to front in doing something new, while we often overlook how much not changing costs us.

• Trying to motivate your team members

• Trying to connect and get to know them

• Trying to work with them

• Trying to give feedback

• Trying to help them improve

• Trying to give them support

And the entire time, approaching it in a way that your people were not responding to.

Here’s the thing about developing a unique way to engage each individual in your charge. You were going to spend that time and effort leading them anyway, you’d at least know that the effort you were putting in was actually going to pay some dividends.

In some cases, going about these things in a mis-matched approach can even cause greater disconnection, especially around how people receive care or build relationship. In which, the investment on your time effort would actually return negative.

So stop wasting your time trying to lead, connect, and engage with others in ways that they don’t want to be led, connected with, or motivated with.

The Secret To Tailored Leadership

So how will you ever learn the different nuances, preferences, and habits of the people around you?

Don’t forget that having a tailored approach to how we interact with people is already something we do. You don’t treat our parents the same way we do our friends. You don’t treat your spouse the same way you treat your friends. Even within your friends, sometimes we know that Jack may prefer to catch up over a beer and some food, while Jill may prefer a walk in nature.

Interacting with different people in different ways is something we do every single day with every single person we know.

The secret to taking this to your leadership is quite simply: get to know your people.

It’s easy to do that with family, friends, and loved ones - we’ve known them for years! That’s the key. You know them. You know their likes, dislikes, motivations, fears, and importantly, what matters to them.

Getting To Know Your Team

Getting to know people is a skill we are pretty familiar with, start by having genuine conversations with each individual. Ask about their interests, their goals, preferences and what drives them. Listen carefully, observe how they like to work, collaborate, and respond to different situations.

Leadership is so often a game of observation. By being present and observant, you'll gain valuable insights into what makes each person tick.

Remember, getting to know your team is an ongoing process, not a one-time task. As you go, your leadership will only continue to get more effective as you learn more about your people. You’ll start to see that you lead more effectively, getting the best out of the people around you with less effort.

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

Explore My Relationship Accelerator program for leaders:

→ If you’re still struggling to unlock the potential of your people and would like to make some meaningful change - our relationship accelerator program helps your leaders learn all they need to know about building effective relationships to drive success - in one day. Check it out here.

Or reach out at [email protected]