Estimated reading time: 4-5 minutes

When I first decided to launch a new newsletter the first thing I wondered was, “Where should I start?”.

When tackling such a broad topic, where do you even start. Does it even have a beginning? Probably not. So I decided instead, to start with what I thought was the most important.

What was the most important ingredient to Leadership - connecting with others, influencing, and making an impact? Everything kept pointing back to Listening. So that’s where we’ll begin.

The No.1 Skill To Show Value

If there had to be a competition between all the things you could do to make someone else feel like they were valued, I believe listening would take top prize.

Just think about a time where someone dropped everything to listen to what you have to say, asked you questions, and made you feel like there was nowhere else or nothing else they’d rather be doing.

Compare that to the time where you were speaking to someone and they had their phone out.

Listening has the ability to make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world, in the same way that not being listened-to can make you feel like the least.

It doesn’t matter if it’s professional or personal, when relationships are involved, listening is the No.1 way we show people that we value them and what they have to say.

The 3 Levels Of Listening

To be better at listening, we need to understand what it consists of. There are 3 different levels of listening.

1. Internal Listening

In this level, the focus is on self. Sure, you might be hearing the words that are being said, but the focus is on yourself, how the information relates to you, how you may be able to respond.

We’re all really familiar with internal listening, as the reciever or perpetrator. Just think about the times when somebody was telling you a story, and you felt the urge to say “That’s happened to me too!” and then you proceeded to tell your story. You were internal listening.

Remember, there is no good or bad listening, only what is appropriate for the impact that you are trying to have on others. While this level of listening could be great for brainstorming, finding inspiration, and making value judgements, it isn’t as useful for building connection and exhibiting care.

2. Focused Listening

At this level, our focus is on the person in front of us. What they’re saying, their thoughts and their feelings. We are asking questions, remaining curious, to better understand their reality.

This level is where we’d like to begin as leaders. Its a level of listening we naturally tap into when we are communicating to someone important to us, but in the case of management, we might have to put in additional effort to get us there.

Remember, as leaders, when we listen to others we want them to feel like they are valued and important. Reaching this level will require you to leave behind any distractions, concurrent situations, or beliefs to enable yourself to give someone your full attention. Which is why a good leadership mindset to have is to treat the person in front of you like the most important person in the world to you at that point in time - people can feel that.

3. Global Listening

If you’ve ever walked into a room in the middle of someone else having a conversation and felt like something was “off”? That’s an example of global listening.

This level of listening takes everything into account. What is being said, but also what is not being said - body language, tone of voice, pauses, and other subtle cues that while nothing has to be said explicitly, contributes to what is being communicated.

Feeling Valued Helps Us Create Value

How we listen to others directly impacts how we make them feel. For the people we lead, we want them to feel like they are important and valued. That their perspectives, and opinions matter. Well, they do.

Everyone has value, everyone has ideas - it’s your job as a leader to pull it out of them. We do that by listening.

When you listen to your people and what they have to say:
- It shows that you value their ideas and input, encouraging them to contribute more
- It shows that you are concerned about their needs, and are committed to helping them do the best job they can
- It shows that you notice their unique strengths and perspectives, and embrace them
- It shows that you care about their future and want to help them grow

When your people feel valued, they will act like it, and create value.

Speak Less, Listen More

If you want to take your leadership to the next level - how you connect, engage and make an impact. Start with listening and everything else will begin to fall into place. All the best!

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

Explore My Relationship Accelerator program for leaders:

→ If you’re still struggling to unlock the potential of your people and would like to make some meaningful change - our relationship accelerator program helps your leaders learn all they need to know about building effective relationships to drive success - in one day. Check it out here.

Or reach out at [email protected]