Feedback, the word makes both leaders or employees squirm.

Employees hate receiving it, managers hate delivering it. Because one way or another, most people have had unpleasant and awkward experiences with feedback. Which is understandable, considering most leaders have never been taught how to deliver effective feedback that’s received well.

Part of my work’s mission has been to make giving feedback simple and effective for every leader. Importantly so, because I believe feedback is one of the most important behaviours that need to occur (consistently) when building great workplaces.

Let’s get into one of my favourite feedback techniques.

STOP Feedback: The Most Effective Way to Build Trust and Engage Your People

You need to start giving “stop” feedback.

So what is stop feedback?

I believe the simplest kind of feedback is the K-S-S Method. Telling someone something to…
- Keep
- Start
- Stop
… doing or being.

"Keep being punctual, start contributing more in meetings, and stop….. uhhh… I guess there’s nothing you should stop doing”.

Boooo!

“Keep” and “Start” feedback are pretty straightforward and people tend to be able to give keep or start feedback with relative ease - but hit a roadblock when trying to give “Stop” feedback. Mostly because of one big misconception.

“Stop” feedback is negative.

“Negative” Feedback: The Myth

I believe there’s no such thing.

Sure, is some feedback harder to receive? Very much so. But with the right execution, delivery, and intentions behind it - every bit of feedback given can be a chance to help others improve, but more importantly - build trust and relationships at work.

It’s about having someone care enough about your improvement to tell you about it and support you in improving.

Doesn’t it feel wonderful when you know that someone cares for you, wants to see you succeed, and is taking the effort to support you in thriving? That’s exactly what feedback does.

“Stop” Feedback

The most impactful piece of feedback I was ever given by a mentor was a piece of “stop” feedback. Here’s the kicker, it wasn’t necessarily about a behaviour they wanted me to stop doing.

Not something you’d expect template “stop” feedback to be, like:

“Stop being late for meetings”
“Stop dragging your feet”
“Stop signing off to formal emails with xoxo”

It was,

“Kit, I want you to stop selling yourself short.”

That sentence almost brought me to tears. Never before had I felt that someone believed in me so much as with that statement. Could they have said, “I want you to start seeing your value ”, or “I want you to start pricing your services higher”, sure, but that doesn’t quite pack the same punch does it?

To me, there was something about it being communicated in the negative that portrayed their genuine care and commitment to my success. Almost as if to say, “it pains me to see you do this to yourself, and I know you’re capable of more”.

This Weeks Challange

Give a piece of stop feedback.

“Stop selling yourself short”
“Stop holding yourself back”
“Stop doubting yourself”
“Stop getting in your own way”

Something powerfully positive, communicated in the form of the “negative”: stop.

I promise it’ll be a game changer.

Good luck everyone.

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

Explore My Relationship Accelerator program for leaders:

→ If you’re still struggling to unlock the potential of your people and would like to make some meaningful change - our relationship accelerator program helps your leaders learn all they need to know about building effective relationships to drive success - in one day. Check it out here.

Or reach out at [email protected]