Why You Need To Appreciate Appreciation

Reading time: 4 minutes

Has anybody ever told you how much they appreciated something you’ve done?

How did that feel? Did it make you want to keep doing that thing?

What about the person who showed you how much they appreciated you? What did that do for your relationship? I'm willing to bet it didn't make it worse.

For any leaders who want their teams to thrive. Who want to create cultures where people are supported, engaged and effective. You need to step up your appreciation game.

But I'm going to pause here for a moment. Because I know what's going through your mind when you think "showing appreciation".

No, it’s not the same thing as recognition.

Recognition comes from things like a reward, a raise, awards, a promotion. Most importantly, it's based on results, or specific measurement of performance. To be recognised for your work.

Appreciation is slightly different. It is about acknowledging a person's inherent value, appreciating their worth as a human being - not just their accomplishments.

A great way it's been described to me before is

“Recognition is about what people do; appreciation is about who they are.”

Why does that difference matter?

Aren't they similar enough?

Not quite. Why? Because people are inevitably going to fail. They are not always going to perform on your scale of measurement. When they do, and they haven’t “earned” or qualified for that recognition. Are they no longer valuable and contributing?

That's where appreciation comes in.

You see, people want to feel validation. They want to know they belong and have value. They want to know if they are trusted and believed in.

So when you show appreciation to those around you. You're not just making them feel good about themselves, and reinforcing behaviours - you build connection, belonging, and trust.

You see, feeling appreciated the ultimate seal of approval. It confirms everything good about who you are. Sometimes, it helps others see 9and believe) what they don’t even see in themselves.

It allows people to see in themselves what others see in them. When people feel like they’re valued, like they contribute, and they belong - they tend to act like it too. Taking initiative, offering help and support, and acting like they’re part of a team (which they are).

Unfortunately the opposite remains true too. Without acknowledgement or appreciation for your strengths, it’s pretty hard to believe that they are even strengths in the first place.

So what do you have to do?

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it

To show the people around you how much you appreciate them. It doesn't have to big, it doesn't have to be everyone, you could just start with one person.

Do one of these 3 things.

1. A Handwritten note:

A few weeks ago, I was clearing out my desk. In one of the drawers I found a box, a box I had almost completely forgotten about. That was my box of letters. Every letter, note, that was written to me by teachers, colleagues, family, friends over the years.

I read through them, the acknowledgements of my values and strengths, even predictions for what I’d do and the impact I’d make on the lives of others - which have come true. I can’t explain how energized I felt to keep on this path after reading those letters. Appreciation from years ago, still providing me fuel years later.

There is just something about letters. People keep them. They fold them up and keep them in their pockets. My grandmother has kept every post card ever written to her.

So if you want to make someone feel special. Write a letter.

2. Face-to-face:

"Hey, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you and the work you do...".

That would quite literally do the trick. Of course if you wanted to go deeper you could. Say everything you'd say in a letter.

There’s nothing more impactful than meaningful words uttered face-to-face, heart to heart.

3. Voice Message:

So your handwriting sucks, or you're too shy to do it in person, but you still want something that's going to be intimate and impactful. Send a voice message.

You'll notice that sending a text message is not one of the options I recommend. That's because text messages are weak, they don't even take any special deviation from your routine. So if you were planning to do it by text, just go that half step further and send a voice message instead.

Let them hear the warmth and sincerity in your voice. Your pauses, and your deep breaths. Let them feel like you’re right there with them.

Finishing Up

Go out there and show people what they really mean to you. Show them that they are intrinsically valuable, and that they contribute.

Show up. Show appreciation. Just like all those notes I kept over all these years, I’m sure it felt like a small gesture for them when they wrote it, but they mean the world to me. To this day those letters serve as a reminder to the type of person I am. A type of person who qualities I may not have kept put forward if nobody had taken the time to appreciate them.

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

Explore My Relationship Accelerator program for leaders:

→ If you’re still struggling to unlock the potential of your people and would like to make some meaningful change - our relationship accelerator program helps your leaders learn all they need to know about building effective relationships to drive success - in one day. Check it out here.

Or reach out at [email protected]