Why Is "Thank You" The Most Powerful 2 Words In Leadership

The fundamental principle I always seek to fulfill when it comes to performance of any kind is: what is the smallest change I can implement that will create the biggest impact?

For leaders and managers specifically, what is the smallest habit I can build that will yield exponential results in my people?

I believe that habit is saying “Thank you”.

The Feedback Factor

If you’ve been following me for a while you will know that I believe the smallest management skill that creates the biggest impact is giving feedback. ‘Thank you’ is then the smallest feedback tool that creates the biggest impact.

But why feedback?

1. Feedback is embedded into flow of work. Rather than managers having to crack their heads and look far and wide for opportunities to build rapport, drive improvement, improve morale, and stub out bad behaviours. Feedback is your one-stop-shop as a manager.

2. Results of feedback are exponential. Assuming done correctly and often, each time a manager gives feedback they are either, reinforcing productive habits or discouraging unhelpful habits. Each time feedback is given, your people are improving and also removing elements that slow them down. It is the best way to achieve exponential personal growth.

If I could only have my managers get trained in 1 skill. I’d choose feedback.

How “Thank You” Works

Let’s first look at the most common alternative to “Thank you”:

‘Good job’.

It is easy to mistakenly believe that ‘Good job”, or any sort of praise is a useful tool for motivation and encouragement. Here’s why it isn’t.

Praise is a judgement. Judgements create a difference of power, where the one passing judgement is superior, and the one receiving praise is lesser. It gives the impression that you, the manager, are the gatekeeper of what is good and bad, desired and undesired. When that happens, as quickly as ‘good job’ might give personnel a momentary boost in confidence, not receiving praise - or worse, being reprimanded or told off, can create a large dip in confidence.

Reliance on praise as a motivator quickly creates a relationship in where your people seek praise from you, instead of a genuine desire to contribute. People seek praise and engage in actions that are likely to have them receive praise rather than seeking to provide value and contribute. Their main focus when it comes to ‘contribution’ becomes not “how can I add value?” but “what is most likely to receive praise?”.

On the other hand,

“Thank you” is not a form of praise, but rather gratitude. It expresses a thankfulness for someone’s contributions, for who they are and what they do for the team. Receiving gratitude gives one the impression that they did something of value and contributed, which is a nuanced difference between praise which occurs when we meet someone else’s expectations.

A nuanced, yet important difference. One builds an intrinsic belief of value and ability to contribute, while one builds an extrinsic view of value and contribution - creating a belief that says, “I can contribute and I have value”. While the other seeks to contribute and provide value, while the other seeks to please and meet criteria.

Small distinction with a big difference in long term confidence, intrinsic motivations, attitudes, and relationship with what it means to contribute to a team.

‘Thank You’

Thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say.

Now, imagine the difference if I said - Good job for making it all the way to the end of the article!

Nuanced difference with a big difference in impact. Growing up my parents always used to tell me to remember my Please and Thank You’s - turn out, there is a lot more wisdom behind that than for politeness.

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help:

Check out our Feedback Factor Program for Managers

→ If you’re struggling with getting the best out of your people. We help teach your managers a simple and easy to execute system for using feedback to effortlessly change behaviours, improve teamwork and drive performance. To find out more click here

Or reach out to me at [email protected]